Keeping My Head Up

I apologies for my delay in updating my blog, I am going to attempt to keep this short. We have had busy weekends these past two weeks. One of the days we went zip lining, which was a blast. We went over the canopy of the forest and had eight different zip lines that we had to cross on throughout the forest. This past weekend we went all around the eastern parts of South Africa, visiting the various battlefields where wars were fought throughout the history of South Africa. It was quite interesting to stand in a place where thousands and thousands of men died while fighting for their freedom, lives, and land. The scenery was unbelievable with wide-open fields, mountains, and hills that seemed to go on forever; my breath was taken away.

I have been to two different clinical sites these past weeks. One of the sites is a clinic that is literally out in middle of nowhere surrounded by huts and farmland. This clinic is sponsored by the United States and works only with the AIDS/HIV population. Groundbreaking studies are being done at this clinic that will affect the management of HIV/AIDS worldwide. In the area where this clinic is placed, the HIV rate is over 60% of the population. The other site that I was at, was in a township area that is less rural but still very impoverished. At this site, there is a small clinic that has a four-bed hospice room for people dying of AIDS. I sat with a 20 year old girl who has two children and was laying on the floor attempting to escape the excruciating heat while her body seemed to shrivel away and be destroyed by AIDS. I look at myself and I look at her, and I see how young I am, but how old she is. She has experienced more things in her life and dealt with more pain and suffering than I will ever know, yet we are about the same age. Also at this site I went out with a nurse and social worker to patients’ homes who have HIV/AIDS. The homes were no more than a mud hut or a tin square where a family of eight may live. The patients we visited were very, very sick, some lying on their deathbeds. We brought them food, monitored their medication management, and prayed with them. It is in these homes that I learn the true meaning of hospitality. We were so welcomed, and even if there was nowhere for us to sit, the families would assure our comfort in one way or another. There was one woman’s home that we visited and the moment we went in she started reading from her Bible to us and teaching us about the scripture, which she had prepared for us beforehand. Sometimes when we think we are going to bless someone, that same person turns around and blesses us.

After home visits, I went to the Family Center where over 60 kids from ages 1-18, who are orphaned or are at high risk related to HIV/AIDS, are able to hang out and receive three meals a day. Some of the older children would leave their kids at the center while they went to school. I think one of my favorite things is spending time with these kids. They are hungry for love and affection, and that is all that I have to give. I wish I could turn their lives around, heal them from HIV, give them a shelter and home, but I cant, all I can do is love. But the love that I have is not of this world; the love that I have is a love that is transcends through me from Christ and is implanted onto these special children.

I don’t like what I have seen here, but I have learned how tight I have to cling to God to keep on going and keep on finding hope in very dark places. It is interesting how South Africa is considered a developed country, which in many places it is, but some areas that I have been are so poverty stricken and so infected with HIV/AIDS that I cant fathom how anyone can consider this place as developed or first world nation. However, when I am back at AE and talking to the white South African people that surround me, none of them have been to these places. The majority of South Africa is a forgotten and unrecognized population that seems to be over shadowed by the upper class white population. There is so much brokenness in this country, so much infection of HIV/AIDS, so many limitations, but it is very easy as a white foreigner to be blinded and ignorant to this pain. I see and recognize that this country has taken greater strides in the past 16 years than the United States has taken in 50, but the affects of the apartheid and inequalities still linger so evidently. Don’t get me wrong, there is so much to be said for the simplicity and joy of life that is in the rural townships and we have much to learn from them; however, through the eyes of a healthcare provider I am deeply disturbed. As we test children and babies for HIV, we are haunted with the knowledge that a disease that they have no control over, no choice, and no power to protect themselves against, can drastically impact and destroy their lives.

I have found myself so comfortable and at peace here. I get time to have fun with the other students, which rejuvenates me for my clinical days. I pray for rest by night and renewal by day. The days go by too fast; I want to slow time down and cultivate each moment that comes. Chad comes in about 7 days; I get butterflies every time I think about it! I hope and pray that he will be able to experience in 10 days what I have in 47 days so far. I want to share with him the joy that I have and the ways that God moves daily.

With Chad coming and them Mom coming right after him, I will be pretty overwhelmed this week with schoolwork. I have major papers that I have to write and presentations that I have to prepare for, but I know it will be worth it when I get to spend time with Chad and Mom and not have to worry too much about homework! I am so excited for Mom to come! Please keep your messages of encouragement coming. I send my love to you all! Be Blessed!